28-Day Pit Stop (July)
Ms.PSMOn the 28th day of each month (in honor of PMS and that whole menstrual cycle thing), we make a Pit-Stop to rally support for each other during a particular moment of PSM.
Submit a comment with your experience. Yours may be just the inspiration or the support or the laugh a PSM sister needs!!
This month's little adventure is entitled "Missing You", because no matter what Stage of PSM you’re in, there will be times that you just plain miss the lil’ angels. Triggered by any number of things, it’s usually sudden and unexpected, and wells up at the most inopportune times – at your office desk, at dinner with a friend, in a meeting, at a red light. And, if you’re like me, you may not even realize at the time why you’re crying! (I felt like I was just going through perimenopause or PMS or something along those lines. For 3 years, I had no idea that I was grieving the loss of a kid who was still very much alive (evidenced by my draining bank account)).
But we miss them. Sometimes, it’s the tiniest of things - the sound of the fridge opening, the sound of their television, a “MOM” call every so often, a quick departure conversation about when they’ll be home, the key in the door. Other times, it’s the biggest of things – knowing they won’t be back, and life as you’ve known it? Pffft.
When we’re sad, we’re sad. We just need to let it happen. Squelching it or examining it just prolongs the healing process. I compare it to the Depression phase of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s Five Stages of Grief, in which she encourages the grieving process to unfold naturally. She discourages attempts to cheer up people in this Stage, but I’m very supportive of distraction.
Read below the BE-YOU-tiful visual for fun suggestions and links to distract you while we check the lug nuts and put air in your tires for the next 28 days. And don’t forget to send in a comment if you have any suggestions for fellow PSMers!!
July's Pit Stop Suggestions and Links:
Go ahead and allow yourself a good cry by pulling out the old baby pictures. You know you want to!
Write in a fancy journal about how grateful you are for the past
Thought of volunteering? Helping others always takes our minds off ourselves
Send them a little care package – maybe something you bake to take up some time (Spawn really likes these homemade granola bars. I use different combinations of things for variety.)
Or maybe just a sweet movie to make you smile, like Little Miss Sunshine or Four Weddings and a Funeral
Reader Comments (2)
This is great. I love the photo!
I'm not a mom, but I have those moments of grief and longing anyway! I've finally agreed with myself to let myself cry or feel sad or whatever without having to immediately (or ever) figure out why.
I'll be at my desk and suddenly sadness takes over and maybe some tears arrive. I just say, oh, honey, you're sad! And let it be. It usually passes pretty quickly but I like this just let it happen approach much more than my former analyzing or stifling approach.
Thanks for this article, I hope it helps many women feel okay to feel bad!
Thank you! You're so right about the "permission" to let it just happen. I know that when I do, I can get it all out and feel better. If I don't, I could be stifling tears all day! Really like the idea that it's okay to feel bad at times. That's big.