How To Be Alone

The video below by Andrea Dorfman and Tanya Davis is fantastic for those of us embarking on a spell of alone time. I think it’s just a perfect message for PSMers transitioning from the Paralysis stage (the first year you are truly alone in an empty house with so much emotion to work through) to Rehabilitation (the next year when you feel a bubble of desire to venture out again). *I have to say that the part about standing at the edge of the dance floor gave me a hive or two. Ignore that part if you have to. :)

Granted, the severity of PSM’s Paralysis is a direct result of how social and connected you were as a single mom. But, if you’re like me, you weren’t. There’s the whole time issue, what with the school activities, the jobs and the demands to dream up cheap and constant entertainment. And then there’s inclination. My Spawn had become my best friend, so I wasn’t really inclined to find a new one. And the only thing I was inclined to do on my rare evenings off was watch television, read a book, or take a nap.

Still, the house is empty and we are indeed alone. It’s new and awkward and scary. We have to give ourselves permission to take some down time to adjust to this unfamiliar new life. But then, we’ll start to feel little nudges from the Universe to get outside, to reconnect with the world. And we may have to do it alone! Like Ms. Davis says – start small and be patient! I saw a lady in her work clothes walking to the bus stop the other morning. As she passed an apartment complex, the sprinklers suddenly came on. At first, she flinched and jumped a little. But then, she held out her hands and raised her head to catch the water for a moment before continuing her walk. I thought I wanted to be just like her. She knew exactly how to be alone.

Tell us about your experiences learning to be alone! Visit www.psming.com and send it in a comment or email.