Remembering Our Moms
Ms.PSMLast week, a dear friend and I talked about our mothers and our memories of them - both the good and the bad - and how they shaped who we still are, despite our advancing ages. Then, another dear and new friend, Dannie Woodard of Rocking Chair Journal fame and great-grandmother to more than a few, blogged beautifully about her still vivid memories of her mother.
So, I started wondering what my Spawn thought of me as a mom. Did he feel shortchanged? Did he think he had to grow up too quickly? These things don't come up much in mother and son talks (mine always heaves a heavy sigh and accuses me of trying to kill him when I ask about his current level of happiness), so we moms have to assume and imagine.
And I like to imagine that, being a product of my single-mother household, my Spawn learned responsibility, independence, a sound work ethic, and how to live within his means. And as a little extra bonus, I believe he has a unique and unwavering respect for women.
I do remember two instances when I got a peek into my son's opinion of me. Once, when he and I were hosting a foreign exchange student from Japan for a few weeks with several other families at his school, I had to attend a farewell dinner on the kids' last night here with all the other parents. I didn't know anyone, and I was a nervous wreck (I avoid crowds and small talk situations whenever I can). My Spawn knew this and must have checked on me ten times that night. At one point, he even brought me something he knew I'd like from the food table, because "they were running out".
And another time, I had the chance to ask one of his best friends, Katie, who became my dependable dog-sitter when I had to travel the first year Spawn went to college, if she thought he was happy - that he didn't really talk to me much about his life anymore. And she said, "Really? Because he talks about you all the time." I laughed and she said, "No, I'm serious. He thinks the world of you. And yes, I think he is happy."
I doubt my Spawn will ever devote a blog post to me, and I know that he would die a thousand deaths if he knew about this site of mine. So, I'm going to stick with the theory that he's a good man/boy because, deep down inside and behind my back, he likes me.
If you're reading this, I would love it if you'd send in a comment or an email with a little memory of your mother or a snippet of what you hope your Spawn remembers about you. Or doesn't remember...now that might even be more fun!
Reader Comments (2)
Kids!! I cannot remember indicating to my mom in words that I thought she was great. and it was only occassionally that I was aware of having whole hearted approval from my own. There were hints. I am still learning about their thoughts as they were growing up and some make me cringe. Over all, I guess they approved of me as a mom and even admired some of my abilities. Do I really want to know how I rate? Nope! They're mothers with grown children; let them worry about their own status! Personally, I thiink they became good parents and have told them so.
LOL! Nope on the ratings, eh? I'm sure I'll move past the wondering how I did phase. I think we single moms struggle a little with compensating or feeling like we have to make up for something (or somebody), so we might think about how we did more. Plus, there's that whole reassurance, approval thing I have going for me. : )