28-Day Pit Stop (January)
Ms.PSMOn the 28th, or in this case, the 30th day of each month (in honor of PMS and that whole menstrual cycle thing), we make a Pit-Stop to rally support for each other during a particular moment of PSM.
Submit a comment with your experience. Yours may be just the inspiration or the support or the laugh a PSM sister needs!! (Also, our new "Parlor" is up here. I hope this will be another way we can connect.)
This month's little adventure is entitled "Finding MeMo" and it's personal. As part of my New Year's resolutions and in an incredibly selfish vein (new to all PSMers - we don't think about ourselves much), I labeled 2011 as "The Year of ME", because I am in Stage Six of PSM and am flirting with what might work for me, in this new PSM life. So, I'm going to share my story of how this Stage is going so far, and it isn't pretty.
I have reached out to people twice this year. That's two more times than I did in 2010, 2009, 2008....you get the picture. Single moms are in warrior mode a lot of the time. We don't reach out, because we're busy and tired and driven to make X amount of money. And reaching out could cause us to drop a juggling ball. So, we might be unapproachable, guarded, single-minded, and, frankly, tough. So be it. We have a job to do. Get out of the way. But as a PSMer, there's more time and less drive. We might become a little softer and want to connect with folks more. We might even be open to a leisurely dinner or a movie or a stroll through a museum or a walk in the park. All new. And including boys.
My first reach-out was to a gal I thought I might like to know. But after one lunch, I really didn't. I even asked twice, thinking I wasn't being approachable enough. I was rusty, after all. Lunch was awkward and almost argumentative as we found out that not only did we have nothing in common, but that we didn't even agree on the basics of life. She ended up walking out of the restaurant. I swear she started it. :)
My second reach-out was to a boy who had been talking to me for hours at work. I finally got fed up enough to tell him on my last day that I had a tiny crush on him, to which he responded not only accordingly but went on and on about how wonderful I was (am!) and asked me out. He picked the where, the when, and put the cherry on top by saying how much he was looking forward to it. Then, he cancelled the next morning. Something about a horrible sinus infection that I didn't detect two days before. I haven't heard a word since and don't expect to. And, again, I swear he started it. :)
Of course, having no sea legs yet, I have gone to the dark side this month about this. I want to retract into my shell like a turtle or swim into the little treasure chest at the bottom of the sea like baby Nemo. I'm sure it's me. I obsess about where I went wrong. I wonder what I said or did to make these people not like me. Am I that bad? I know I'm in the world by myself again and 20 years older now, but am I so different? What am I supposed to learn from this? How do I find myself without involving other people?
Obviously, I'm still a PSM work in progress. I will dust myself off and hopefully try again before I lose the momentum. MeMo will be found, by God. Even if it's in the bottom of a Chunky Monkey ice cream carton.
So, where are you for 2011? Are you trying anything new? Are you reaching out? Succeeding? Failing? A little of both?
Read on for a few suggestions about finding YourMo while we check the lug nuts and put air in your tires for the next 28 days.
January's Pit Stop Suggestions:
Got any?? I'm open. Shoot, there I go again. :)
Reader Comments (2)
Mmmmm. Chunky Monkey! (Ahem. Sorry. Lost myself.) I'm not a PSMer, as you know. But I am rather fond of YOU and wanted to leave a note to say hang in there. It MUST get easier! Things generally do, no matter which arena it is in which we're playing. Big Squeezie Hug to you...
Thank you, Melody!! Means a whole whole lot!