28-Day Pit Stop (May)

On the 28th day of each month (in honor of PMS and that whole menstrual cycle thing), we make a Pit-Stop to rally support for each other during a particular moment of PSM. This month, we're a little late. We all know that happens.

Submit a comment with your experience. Yours may be just the inspiration or the support or the laugh a PSM sister needs!!

This month's little adventure is entitled "Being Social". Part of the PSM process is focusing on ourselves and our new lives and changing priorities. A cheerful by-product of that is often making friends. For me, it's also been unnerving, not being in the vicinity of my comfort zone. All those years, my best friend was my Spawn. I wasn't his, thank goodness (he has a really cool circle of friends), but he was mine. My world revolved around him, so I had no thoughts around developing or maintaining time-consuming friendships. But now? Things are different. I couldn't be more grateful for the people who stuck with me as a single mom and for the new people who encourage, enlighten, and comfort me every hour of every day. I have never been more grateful for anything. Well, there was the Spawn, but he left me. :) 

How did this happen? How did I end up with friends whom I dearly love and can't imagine a day without? Looking back, it happened organically and gradually, but I think, if I had to offer up some words of wisdom from experience, I would say:

• Start out with social networking sites. It's a comfortable, at-home way to get to know the right group and the right person to try yourself out on. Sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo and Google are great ways to meet new people.
• Get your picture taken! The new PSM you. So people know what you look like. It's only fair. I know I would rather meet someone who had a picture online. I want to see you!!
• Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. By working together you build bonds with people, and you might meet others who have a passion for changing things the way you do (a common cause).
• When you're out and about, make eye contact and smile. Start a conversation. Ask someone a question. Make small talk. This can't be forced - I know you won't feel like doing this one for a while, if you're early in the PSM transition. If you've discovered that the person you're talking to has a common interest, ask him or her more about it and, if appropriate, whether they get together with others (in a club, for example) to pursue this interest. If you clearly express interest (when? where? can anyone come?) they'll probably invite you. If the time feels right, ask them out for lunch or coffee. I know, that one feels tough. But a good way to extend yourself is to say: "Hey, well, I've got to go, but if you ever want to talk over lunch or coffee or anything like that, let me give you my number/e-mail address." This gives the person the opportunity to contact you!
• Join an organization or sign up for a class with people who have common interests. You don't necessarily need to have a lot of common interests with people to make friends with them. But it's a great way to meet new local people!

May's Pit Stop Suggestions:

See above. But a few others I thought of....

Join a gym or walking club

Take a Continuing Education Class

Did you know Home Depot, Lowe's and Menards offer classes

Join a group at Meetup.com

Join a day tripper club or a travel club (even if you can't travel yet)

Reach out to people and commenters on Websites and blogs by posting comments or questions

Email somebody you haven't talked to in years

Just DO IT! Freekin' Nike.