28-Day Pit Stop (January)

On the 28th, or in this case, the 30th day of each month (in honor of PMS and that whole menstrual cycle thing), we make a Pit-Stop to rally support for each other during a particular moment of PSM.

Submit a comment with your experience. Yours may be just the inspiration or the support or the laugh a PSM sister needs!! (Also, our new "Parlor" is up here. I hope this will be another way we can connect.)

This month's little adventure is entitled "Finding MeMo" and it's personal. As part of my New Year's resolutions and in an incredibly selfish vein (new to all PSMers - we don't think about ourselves much), I labeled 2011 as "The Year of ME", because I am in Stage Six of PSM and am flirting with what might work for me, in this new PSM life. So, I'm going to share my story of how this Stage is going so far, and it isn't pretty.

I have reached out to people twice this year. That's two more times than I did in 2010, 2009, 2008....you get the picture. Single moms are in warrior mode a lot of the time. We don't reach out, because we're busy and tired and driven to make X amount of money. And reaching out could cause us to drop a juggling ball. So, we might be unapproachable, guarded, single-minded, and, frankly, tough. So be it. We have a job to do. Get out of the way. But as a PSMer, there's more time and less drive. We might become a little softer and want to connect with folks more. We might even be open to a leisurely dinner or a movie or a stroll through a museum or a walk in the park. All new. And including boys.

My first reach-out was to a gal I thought I might like to know. But after one lunch, I really didn't. I even asked twice, thinking I wasn't being approachable enough. I was rusty, after all. Lunch was awkward and almost argumentative as we found out that not only did we have nothing in common, but that we didn't even agree on the basics of life. She ended up walking out of the restaurant. I swear she started it. :)

My second reach-out was to a boy who had been talking to me for hours at work. I finally got fed up enough to tell him on my last day that I had a tiny crush on him, to which he responded not only accordingly but went on and on about how wonderful I was (am!) and asked me out. He picked the where, the when, and put the cherry on top by saying how much he was looking forward to it. Then, he cancelled the next morning. Something about a horrible sinus infection that I didn't detect two days before. I haven't heard a word since and don't expect to. And, again, I swear he started it. :)

Of course, having no sea legs yet, I have gone to the dark side this month about this. I want to retract into my shell like a turtle or swim into the little treasure chest at the bottom of the sea like baby Nemo. I'm sure it's me. I obsess about where I went wrong. I wonder what I said or did to make these people not like me. Am I that bad? I know I'm in the world by myself again and 20 years older now, but am I so different? What am I supposed to learn from this? How do I find myself without involving other people? 

Obviously, I'm still a PSM work in progress. I will dust myself off and hopefully try again before I lose the momentum. MeMo will be found, by God. Even if it's in the bottom of a Chunky Monkey ice cream carton.

So, where are you for 2011? Are you trying anything new? Are you reaching out? Succeeding? Failing? A little of both?

Read on for a few suggestions about finding YourMo while we check the lug nuts and put air in your tires for the next 28 days.

January's Pit Stop Suggestions:

Got any?? I'm open. Shoot, there I go again. :)

28-Day Pit Stop (December)

On the 28th day of each month (in honor of PMS and that whole menstrual cycle thing), we make a Pit-Stop to rally support for each other during a particular moment of PSM.

Submit a comment with your experience. Yours may be just the inspiration or the support or the laugh a PSM sister needs!! (Also, our new "Parlor" is up here. I hope this will be another way we can connect.)

This month's little adventure is entitled "New Things", because it's about to be a new year, and I'd like it better if I thought other PSMers were having hopeful thoughts about that.

One of the things about PSM that's been the most overwhelming for me is that there are more choices. I'm happy for them, but I'm certainly not used to them. More often than not, choices require money and that wasn't in our abundant and disposable supply. We did alright, don't get me wrong, but fun was something to be budgeted. I imagine I'm in good company with most of the single moms out there.

But as I progress through the stages of PSM, I find that I'm more open to choices and to thinking bigger than I've been able to. Every year, I make a list of resolutions and goals. I believe in that process. But as I get better adjusted to this life sans spawn, I want more from my list this year. I want it to include my big toe in the water of a little FUN and maybe a little ADVENTURE. I have no specifics yet, but I'm planting the seed.

This might be a little obscure for us women, but there's a show on NPR called Car Talk that I listen to not because I like anything related to cars, but because the show hosts are a hoot! They were recently interviewed in Yankee Magazine and had this to say about adventure:

"...He told us this whole story about how he drove his old Chevrolet from Minnesota to Alaska. The car had 350,000 miles on it, and he'd made a major repair using a barbeque grill. He wanted to know if he should drive the car home. We told him, "Go for it."

Some of our best calls are from people who are trying to go on some kind of adventure and need encouragement. A lot of people lead predictable lives and don't take any risks. But if you don't, then you won't have any stories to tell your kids. You don't want to do something that's going to end your life, but it's good to do stuff where things can go wrong.

If something happens, and it creates an adventure, you'll remember it forever. I remember one guy who was going to take a trip with his father and brother. They were going to drive some old Dodge Dart or some other old clunker. Doug [Berman, the producer] was in our headphones suggesting that we tell these guys to rent a newer car. I said no. The best thing that can happen is you break down every hundred miles and you get into arguments and everything goes wrong. It'll be the greatest trip you ever took."

So, where are you for 2011? Are you ready for a little adventure or, if not, is there something you've always thought about doing but haven't had the nerve? Is there something you could include in your new year's plan? Just to set the intention?

My hope for PSMers this new year is that we all do one thing out of the ordinary and just for us. Maybe it's something we didn't think we'd ever do. And if you don't tell me about it, well, it's just OVER, that's all there is to it. ;)

Read on for a few suggestions about making New Year's plans and setting and manifesting intentions while we check the lug nuts and put air in your tires for the next 28 days.

December's Pit Stop Suggestions:

Chris Guillebeau's The Art of Nonconformity

The Happiness Project

Original Impulse

Planet SARK

The Artist's Way

Setting Intentions