Ms.PSM tries to make biweekly entries into this, her PSM diary. It would make her so happy if you left a comment or two along the way. You don't want her to start hoarding things to keep herself company, do you?

Post-Single MotherhoodTM (PSM) is both pitifully sad and pure joy. It is unrelenting and unpredictable. It is discouraging and encouraging, discombobulating and enlightening. Sometimes, it's a super-sized combo of all of the above. And yet, it can be entertaining and downright comical. The idea is to capture all this here.

Entries in road trip (2)

Wednesday
Feb152012

One PSM Stage Forward, Two Stages Back

Well, it has arrived. I officially serve no purpose. Not even as the ATM I've been for the last couple of years. No more college to pay for. No more monthly bills (except for a small straggler or two). I can best explain my level of relevance by sharing the following exchange with Spawn. (My 21-year-old son recently moved to Lake Tahoe for a year-long project and had to shop for the basics to equip his new apartment. I have to tell you that just the other day I was driving along the highway, looking around, and spotted a Red Roof Inn that I would think of as being in the middle of nowhere if I didn't know what was just beyond the exit ramps and thought about how this kid road-tripped across the country alone with a GPS and no hotel reservations. He was stressed the week before he left, and I could tell he was nervous when he got to town before he found his apartment. But he did it. He saw the Grand Canyon, Santa Fe, FLagstaff, Las Vegas on a Saturday night, Death Valley, Hoover Dam, and some others I know I'm forgetting. (I was texted all of two pictures along the way.) He did it a lot excited but a little afraid. What a lesson he taught me. At 21, I couldn't have written a check. So as much as I diss on the Spawn - and will continue to do so because it's a lot of how we express love - I couldn't be more happy about him. My life's joy, I tell ya, my life's joy. But you probably knew that.)

Anyway, back to the exchange. Boyz. Ugh.

“I bought all kinds of stuff for the bathroom. Shower curtain....”

“Ooo, what color?”

“Shower curtain color.”

“Seriously?”

“I think it’s a tan color.”

“K, what else?”

“A trash can.”

“Ooo, what color?”

“Trash can color.”

“Seriously?”

“It’s white.”

“K, what else?”

“A bath mat.”

“Ooo, what color?”

“I don’t really remember.”

“Does it match the shower curtain? Complement it?”

“Uhhh.”

“How could you not remember what color it is? You just bought it 4 hours ago.”

“Uhhh.”

So the PSM stages, once again, keep repeating themselves. I was sure we'd get to go straight through them and be done. And satisfied. What was I thinking?

Wednesday
Jun292011

28-Day Pit Stop (June) 

On the 28th day of each month (in honor of PMS and that whole menstrual cycle thing), we make a Pit-Stop to rally support for each other during a particular moment of PSM. This month, again, we're a little late. What's new, right?

This month's little adventure is entitled "Venturing Out Alone".

Listen, I'm the first one to say that in the throes of PSM, the last thing we want is be told to "get out there". In fact, for me, nothing made me sadder, because I just couldn't, and, frankly, didn't want to. I understand that we need time to get through the first stages of PSM on our own and at our own pace. We need time to grieve. I want you to take that time to just be sad, believe me. Some days, nothing helps PSM more than a good cry or a spell of vegetation.

But the minute you see a flash of light at the end of that proverbial tunnel (and you will - probably in the Rehabilitation Stage), I want you to do something that I didn't do. Venture out alone. Take a baby step. Do something close to home. But it has to be something you don't normally do. On a new road. In a new part of your town. A different time of day. Maybe you never leave the house before noon on Saturday? Well, make sure to plan this for first thing Saturday morning. Even if it's a mile from home, go. And go alone. Take a tour. Or walk a path. Or go to a grocery store you've never been to. Or just drive. I think you'll be surprised how ready people are to welcome you. The PSM you. The new you.

I've been on a road trip of my own for the last couple of weeks, and I will tell you more about it as soon as I collect my thoughts, but there have been moments that I think may just be redefining me. I feel more confident, more comfortable, and more accepted than I ever have. And these were tiny moments in the scheme of things. Nothing major. Nothing earth-shattering. Just seemingly me-shattering. It's my first glimpse of that Satisfaction Stage I talk about.

Trust me. Venture out. Alone. One baby step at a time. If you need a shove, let me know!! Hey, I do what I can. : ) Email me at psm@psming.com. And if you do venture out, please share in a comment below.

June's Pit Stop Suggestions:

Just one: Solo Road Trip! Even if it's a mile from your house.