Stage Five hits you when you're all cried out and realize they're not coming back. Surprisingly, it's a bit of a relief. You're used to the outgoing funnel of money now, which is pretty well-defined and a little more manageable.

Spawn is 19 this year and doesn't come home much anymore. When he does, not only are you not devastated to see him go, you're fairly glad to have to the house back to yourself. 

Your thoughts start peek-a-boo'ing to YOU and what you should be, or, better yet, could be doing. You gravitate to the self-help, motivational, mid-life type stuff. You may try a slew of different things, because you don’t really know who you are now. You think you’re one thing, but you're basing that on who you were 19 years ago, before Spawn came along. You’re almost 20 years older now, and not only has the world changed, but apparently so have you. You had no time to notice, now did you?

So, you start to find yourself. You read online books and blogs and get to know folks at a distance. Then, you dip your big toe in the local pool and think you might be open to invitations, should they be extended.

You may feel up to landing that extra job now. You have the time and can always use the money. You might meet some nice, new people that you'd have things in common with.

Heck, you might start thinking about projects. Writing or building or creating or cooking up websites dedicated to Unsubstantiated Yet Traumatic Stages of Life, like this one. :) The first sign that you’re sliding into Stage Six of PSM: Flirtation.

Symptom  List
Thinking about YOU
"You're only staying one night? No, no, that's fine."
Lots less time spent worrying
Dinners out alone and with people, other than the Spawn

Early Warning Signs
You can sit at a red light without crying
You're not calling Spawn as much between the designated weekly check-in
You start joining in conversation at work more

Therapy
You're learning, investigating, trying things on. Not with both feet, but it's a start. A stint in rehab to get you ready for the real world. You may have a little more disposable income now. The library is still a good option for things, but if you find a book or product that you really enjoy, you should buy it to keep. As a treat. For YOU! And don't forget to TELL US ABOUT IT!

I have gravitated to fiction and books about writing and travel and history this year. And new cozy, wrinkly things for the house, because we're nurturing ourselves through rehab and warming up for the final stretches of PSM.

And, as always, Tom Jones and babies and puppies videos on You Tube.